Back to the beginning
by diana015
Summary: Santana's live is set upside down with a little 6-years-old surprise from her past and that is not the only surprise. You'll know more if you look inside. Give it a chance.
1. Chapter 1

So... hi guys ! Let me start with telling you that I have this little issue , sometimes out of nowhere I get this fics ideas stuck in my head, and I can't get rid of them I see them over and over like a damn movie, so I HAVE to write them to get rid of them , but I just write like a big Summary , so this is actually my FIRST fic , so is it too much for me to ask you to be gentle ?

Also ... I saw once this japanese movie , about this teenagers that were born without sex, and from there I got the "no gender" idea. P!G warning for those of you who don't like it.

one more thing I don't have a beta so all the mistakes are mine and if you are interest to become mine beta let me know.

I don't own Glee

**Back to the beginning **

**Chapter 1**

You know that feeling when you feel the need to laugh your lungs out of your body cause what they tell you is just too fucking ridiculous to even consider the possibility of it being true ? Well multiply that by ten and you'll get how I felt , seriously how does something like that happen ?

But...for you to understand what I'm talking about I have to start by the beginning of this fucked up as hell and messed up situation.

It was just a normal day , just like all the others ( funny how so many stories start with that same stupid phrase, right ? ) anyway back to business , well how does a normal day start in the Lopez bedroom you ask ? That is easy with me sleeping in till past twelve, naked and with the smell of sex, I don't like to cuddle after sex , or have small talks till we fall asleep or have breakfast together the next morning, not my thing so I keep it simple we did our thing, had our fun and they will leave as soon as possible, when they fell asleep before I could tell them to get out , I slept on my couch and got rid of them first thing in the morning, then I could go back to dreamland and sleep away my hungover, then I'll wake up take a shower go out for coffee and eat whatever I was in the mood for that day, it is a pretty damn life that was threatening to come to an end.

The day was supposed to start that way but of course it didn't , it started with this annoying noise that woke me up, at the beginning I thought it was Kriss, this dancer with a killing body , she is a back up dancer and was more often than not on tour , whenever she was in town we will catch up and by that I mean have sex till we couldn't move, she is hot , good in bed and just like me she didn't want a relationship, so sue me.

But when I looked around my one bedroom apartment and didn't saw her I knew it wasn't her the place was pretty small so I really didn't needed to look twice.

I shouted at the person behind the door - give me a minute !- and went to put some boy boxer shorts and a tank top over my naked body, now that I think about it , would have made a difference if I wouldn't have open that door? What would be deferent ? Because that was the moment when everything change, when everything got messed up.

Who was at the other side of that door ?

- Good morning - the guy with a couple of pounds too much and the world most ugly t-shirt spoke after he finished scanning my body and clearing his trot a couple of times , to say I wasn't in a good mood was an understatement, I mean he woke me up of my much needed sleep and he was leering at me like a damn pervert , well that I didn't mind so much I'm hot as hell and if I ever meet myself in boxer shorts and a tank top that sincerely didn't leave much to imagination, I would have had the same reaction , I can't blame him, so I guess I was only in a bad mood cause he woke me up, and that was still reason enough for me to glare at him like my live was depending of it. - Santana Lopes?- he asked and when I didn't answered him he spoke again - I'm Maikel Scofield§, from Social Services I need to talk to you about Miss Royers - well that got my attention ,my heart stopped beating and the simple mention of her name brought back so much pain, that I worked so fucking hard to bury away and now it was back and it felt like it was yesterday when everything happen all the memories that I would have give everything to erase were fresh in my head and with that all that pain turned in anger so much anger , even after all this time it hasn't go away. I drooped my hands from where they were crossed above my chest and looked a the floor for a moment lost in all the memories and then back to him I was about to shut the freaking door on his face when he spoke again and his words made my whole body froze with my hands on the handle of the door. - she died - was what he said.

At that moment I didn't know what to feel , yes my anger didn't vanished , but I felt that emotions you feel when someone you loved dies , even when that person made a fool of you and broke you heart, even when you haven't see them in years, even when you put so much effort in doing everything you can to hate them, I don't know if I could explain how I felt at that moment, it were so many mixed feeling that I wouldn't know where to start explaining them. I felt like I had been under water way too long my head felt heavy , my lungs were burning and even when I open my mound a couple of time I wasn't able of breathe, the back of my ayes were burning too like when you feel the need to cry, only I didn't exactly felt that it was more like headache.  
I needed to sit down so that's what I did , and left the door open for him to follow me inside.

- wh-what happened ? - I asked after a few minutes of just looking down at my hands, he was sitting next to me.

- brain tumor I'm sorry -

- don't be ..- okay yeah that sounded a little cold , so I tried to explain myself.

-I-I mean...I haven't see her in like ...-a tried to think a little before answering - seven years or ...something -

I wasn't exactly sure and I didn't want to think about it so whatever, is not that I didn't care , cause of course I did but it just...after wat happen she..she cheated on me and it wasn't like a little thing what we had , it was damn serious , it was back in college , last year of college actually , we were together for like six years , we met in high school and she was my first girlfriend , well she was my first everything , I hated what I was back then but with her it felt ...right...everything felt right. I was actually going to propose her like... really, I wanted to get married and the whole bullshit, I had everything worked out, I wanted to wait till we finished college then our lives together could really start , I had bought a engagement ring and had saved money so we could move together, I found her two weeks before we finished college with some stupid guy in a party half naked ,I was so stupid ...so whatever, I felt sorry ..I mean I felt sorry she died of course, but how many of us hadn't wish for that ? Just for a second even if we take it back as soon as it enter our mind ,when we are all heart broken and it hurt to breath, we all have at some point, and if you say you don't , you are lying your ass off ,or you haven't really been hurt. But finishing my story Puck and I moved to New York and with the money I had saved and the money he had saved with the pool cleaning thing we open a club , got drunk a lot , fucked some damn hot girls and never looked back.

He just nodded and opened his mouth to speak again but I already had enough, he hasn't being there more than two minutes and I had enough of him.

- what do you want ? - and if looks could kill , I'm pretty sure he would be dead by know , seriously what's his deal ? He came to told me my ex died but why did he bothered coming here? And there he was sitting next to me like he wasn't even planing to leave.

He started looking around and I could really see how nervous he was, he cleared his throat, again , before looking back at me , I'm sure he was ashamed that a tiny girl (woman) like myself was making a big grow up man , like him , uncomfortable and that made my smirk.

- I'll cut to the chase then - he said and I nodded with the same smirk .

- She had a son - my smirk dropped immediately , I wanted to answer with something like good for her, but I was already feeling a hell of a headache coming up and all I wanted was for him to get the hell out of my place, so I just replied with

-and I should care because...- I waited for him to finis my phrase.

- because he is your son too- I just looked at him for a few second and before I new it I was laughing my friggin' ass of, I mean seriously .Ever.

I laughed till I couldn't take the pain on my sides anymore , my eyes started watering and I was having trouble breathing, after a few minutes my laugh died and the words finally reached my brain. I looked at him but he has the same serious face that he had when he said it , I couldn't find any tracks that it was a joke in his face. For a second all my thoughts stoped and my head was blank , I couldn't heard anything , feel anything or see anything. But like I said it was for a second and just like that they came all back at once and it was like watching ten different programs at the same time and I couldn't concentrate in any of them for more than a second. I could feel a panic attack coming up and I stood so fast making the stool I was sitting on fall on the ground and the annoying noise didn't help the hell of the headache I was having. And at that moment I figured why he was here , and no way in hell I was going to agree with THAT. .Way.

- you have to be freaking kidding my ...- I start talking without looking at him just walking in circles over and over again - you have you just HAVE to be kidding ..who the hell do you think you are ? Eh eh ? Who the hell does SHE think she is ? Sh-She can't just...died and...ex-expect me to..to...I can't even thing about it ...it impossible completely impossible it ju-just that can't be , I mean of course it's not possible that whor...- I stopped myself there, after all she was dead - s-s-she cheated on me , you see ? She cheated I can't have a s...- the word was stuck in my throat -anything ..I can't have anything with her , I just CAN NOT, do you understand that? Do you ?- I spoke so fast that I didn't have a chance to breath , not once through my whole speech and not once did I looked at him, till he spoked.

- please Miss Lopes calm down-

- calm down ? Calm dow ? Are you kidding me ? How the hell can I calm down ? You just go around all the time telling people shit like this..it my be normal for you ..but not for me, It ca- he interrupted me.

- you have other options - I could hear in his voice that he was trying to calm me down, and his trick worked , it didn't stopped my head from freaking out but he got my attention.

- options ? - I wasn't calm enough to sit down but al least I wasn't walking in circles anymore, that was something right ?

He nodded - yes, we can make some tests -

Not what I was expecting exactly - is that your "option" ? - my voice came out as irritated as I was feeling.

- or you can deny the custody ? - he was standing now next to me.

I expected to feel some sort of relief but guilty was I felt - I can work with that - I said.

- good , I'll need you to sign some papers - he took a card out and handed it to me -can you meet me tomorrow ? I'll have everything ready - he waited till I nodded - good , does at three work for you ? - I nodded again and he smiled -alright then , see you tomorrow Miss Lopez - and he extended his hand for me to shake it , I did and nodded, I really didn't feel like talking , AT ALL. So he just smiled polity and left.

Being finally alone I tried to calm myself down, taking deep breaths. I look around the apartment, the place was small , but it was good enough for me , I didn't expend a lot of time there anyways. I could see my room from where I was sitting at the couch the place was a mess just like the rest of the apartment , clothes were lying everywhere around my room, I looked at the small kitchen and saw the boxes of take out some of them were there for days and the rest of the place wasn't much better , a Tv in front of the couch and a small square table with two stools in the kitchen and that was it.

I was lying down on the couch trying to figure out how all of this happen. Well I knew_ how IT _happen , there is story behind that and it isn't a secret to anyone. When I was born I wasn't a boy nor a girl, they called it "no gender" my clitoris was too long to be a clitoris and too small to be a penis. So my parents had to decide what I was going to be , well my dad did , she freaked out and left , I guess she didn't love me or my dad enough, but I don't care about her I have an amazing mother. So anyway my dad decided I was going to be a girl , but he refused any operation they usually did to "correct" the problem, he knew I could change so he left that choice for me. Growing up I loved being a girl , I loved it , the skirts , the dresses , the heels , the make up , everything I loved everything. But I knew something wasn't right , but the time I started High School all my friends had boobs but I didn't so I wore BH's and filled it with napkins , I was so mad at the world , why me ? Why couldn't I be a girl ? But thing only kept going wrong when my "clitoris" started growing up turning into...well a penis. I was so depressed, I didn't eave my room for weeks, and to make matters it was getting harder every day to deny my attraction to girls, I knew sinds I was around eight how I felt about them , but I always lied to myself , I always told myself that the sky wasn't blue. To get me out of my room my dad promises my I could get a boob job for my sixteen birthday, I still needed to wait two years for that but I was over the moon with the idea, I still was depressed about the whole situation , but something was something, so I just kept taking my hormones like I have be doing for years. By the time I was seventeen Liza Royers,who I met in freshman , was my girlfriend , she loved the little toy between my legs, well _not _exactly little _at all. _And we discovered how much fun we could have with it , I loved it , still do , like I started saying back then , I have the best of both world.

I broke my train of thoughts and looked at the clock on my phone, 11.26 a.m , I needed a drink or more like a couple of them. That was a hell of a morning.

To be continued ...


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi guys .. First of all I wanna thank ** "Glee4ever123" **cause she was the fist one to review and it was simple but it really made my smile , so thank you =D**

**I also wanna thank all of you guys for following my fic I'm glad you like it.  
**

**Second, I'll post a Spanish version of this fic , I still have to translate everything so it will be for next week. **

**And I still don't have a beta BUT I re-read everything like twice to make sure I didn't made any mistake , but if you find some please let me know.**

**Thats all , I don't own Glee and ENJOY! **

**Back to the beginning **

**Chapter 2**

I entered Moon Light expecting not to find anyone there, but of course I didn't have such luck , why would I ? with the day I already had all I wanted was to hide under my bed till all of this was over. The place was dark , it always is at this time of the day, but I could see a light coming from the little office behind the bar.

- I never thought I'll live to see this day - there he was , the asshole that is my brother , Puck. The story with that is that my dad and his mom married when I was five he was six, his biological father is worst than my...well I could never think of her like a mother so I usually just call her "she", not that I think or speak about her much. Anyway, back when we were teenager he came once to "borrow" money from Puck , it was the first time he saw him sinds he was five, and after that never saw him again, wich is good. At least "she" never came by making me believe she cared about me when all she wanted was money. That something right ?

I just ignored his commentary and went for a beer but I needed something stronger so I took a bottle of Tequila and a glass and sat at the bar. He came and sat next to me .

- Okay I'm listening - he said looking at me.

- Nothing - I said before drinking my second Tequila shot. He just laugh like I had just tell the joke of the year before speaking again.

- Cut that crap lil' sis - he said taking the bottle away from me when I was about to refill my glass for the fourth time.

- HEY ! - I protest and glared at him.

I saw him roll his eyes, he took my glass and refilled it before he gave it back - now stop whining and speak-

I took my time drinking my shot and saw by the corner of my eye how impatient he was getting , if I was going to spill the beans at least I could have a little fun no ? I turned to look at him.

- Do you remember Liza ? - he frowned at my question.

- Of course that bitc...-

- She died - I stopped him before he could finish that sentence. I saw the shock on his face and saw him look around for a few minutes before looking back at me.

- What happen ? -

It didn't took long for me to tell him everything I knew after all it wasn't much. All I knew was that she died of a brain tumor and that she claim that the boy was mine. I didn't knew when she died? Or for how long she was sick ? Or where she lived ? Or if she didn't have anyone who could take care of the boy ? Or how old he was ? I didn't know anything so I forced myself to stop thinking about it after all it wasn't my problem and I shouldn't care about it.

- What are you gonna do ? - I heard Puck speak. I looked from the empty glass I was holding to him.

- Mmh ? What? - I felt a bit tipsy , I had drank a couple more of shots while I was speaking and when you want to get drunk it actually happen faster than usually , that and I had drank it way too fast.

- What are you gonna do ? - he asked again

- Nothing - I took another tequila shot.

- What you mean nothing ? - he reached over and took the bottle. - and stop drinking, this shit is serious-

I had to laugh at that , like seriously ? Tell _me_ about it.

- I know is fucking serious Noah - the anger had started to take over and you could clearly hear it in my voice.- what am I supposed to do anyway ? - I actually didn't want an answer to that question.

- You're supposed to grow up Santana. - I tried to take the bottle but he pushed me away, fucking asshole.

- You have no idea what she did to me - I almost whispered looking down at my hands on my lap - I ca-I can't take care of _her _child, I just can't Noah - the need of ripping his head off his shoulders was gone , and all I wanted to do was sit down and cry.I knew that was because of the alcohol.

- Of course I know what she did to you , I was there remember ? - he voice was soft like when he talks to Beth.

And with that all the memories and the pain came back, so many time did Puck and I drink till we couldn't walk straight anymore. I remembered our first night in L.A , I had bought a bottle of Whisky from a grocery store down the street and when Puck saw it,

- _what the hell do you think you are doing ? - _I could heard his voice so clear, like he had said it right then and not years ago.

_- what does it look like you idiot -  
_

He took the bottle and throw all the Whisky in the sink _ - we did that enough back in Lima Santana , we are in a new city it's a new beginning and you are going to move on -_

My life would have been so different without him. It was all too much and the alcohol in my body didn't helped ,I couldn't stop myself from start crying.

- Come here - I felt his hands rubbing my back and I heard him whispering "you're gonna be okay" over and over again,that only made my cry harder, I held him tighter and just cry till I didn't have any tear more left. I don't know how long we were there I just know that at some point I felt asleep.

When I woke up I was in my bed in my pajamas. I hate hangovers, just like everybody else I guess, every single time I feel like shit and I promise myself that I won't drink ever again , but that promise does not last long. I took the two Advil and glass of water from my nightstand that Puck left there .I closed my eyes again but didn't fall asleep I was kind of in between. A while later I looked at my cell phone and it was 21.26 p.m , I couldn't stay in bed anymore and I didn't want to be home alone , being alone would only made my think about everything that was going on, so I just took a shower and ten minutes later I was already in Moon Light. It was a Wednesday night and it wasn't one of the busiest days , I was glad for that. After a few minutes of just sitting at the bar listening to the music I felt someone sitting besides me and I wasn't surprise when I looked up and saw Puck sitting there with a big smile and a glass of water, I took the water and nodded my thanks , I really didn't want to talk , but I knew he didn't care about that , he never does.

- Do you know what will happen to him ?- there he was , that guy really doesn't know what "stay out of mine business" means and I'm truly thankful for that even if I wasn't it that night.

- Of course I know - I let out a big sigh and took another gulp of water I felt much better before I got there ,I knew he wouldn't shut up about it so why did I go there if I didn't want to talk about it ? Maybe because I_ did_ wanna talk about it.

- They will send him to a foster house Santana - he said like I didn't knew that - to a foster house, you can't let that happen - I looked around the bar , Sarah the bartender was talking to a guy a few meters from where I was , at the other side was a group of three girls laughing , I'm sure they were underage , a couple at the bar and another one dancing.

- Why should I care ? - I asked him still looking around the place , but what I really wanted to know were reasons to _not _care. He laughed a little.

-c'mon little sis , we grew up together, I know you, you know you can't put that shit with me - I threw him my best bitch glare at him and he laughed again - and that won't work on me either, you know that- I would never know what I bothered with that , but a girl has to try ,no ?

- I just can't Noah, I can't - I repeated what I had said hours ago. I tried searching for a better argument - I can't change my life just because she wanted me to take care of a kid that isn't mine - that sounded convincing enough , right ? I think it would have if my voice wouldn't have sound like I was pleading

- Bullshit , you can't keep leaving like that Santana,you can't. Yes fucking around without responsibilities is fun and all, but you can't keep doing that forever , we are thirty Santana ,we aren't teenagers anymore , you know one day your pretty face won't be enough-

Thirty ? Fucking asshole - twenty nine - I corrected him - _you_ are thirty,not me - he just rolled his eyes and started talking again.

-You need to settle down, when was the last time you had a relationship ? - I was about to answer him

- a real one - I just took another gulp of water , he was right but at that moment I wasn't ready to admit it - when was the last time you spend a _whole _night with someone just cuddling ? - I thought back at that blond girl with beautiful blue ayes, but didn't said anything, after all that was an accident and I never saw her again - when was the last time you had a home made dinner , that wasn't with me , Quinn or our parents ? - he kept punching.

- I'm scared ! - I yelled but no one besides him heard me thanks to the loud music - I'm scared okay ? Is that what you wanna hear ? .Scared- he smiled at my and I saw that he was waiting for me to admit it.

- I know you are- he paused - but I know you'll do it great, you are awesome with Beth , she loves you-

That was true - that doesn't count Puck she isn't a kid - I had to lough at his reaction, he looked like I had told him the world was about to end in thirty seconds, completely in shock.

- She _is _a kid - the last time I heard a voice that high was the last time I saw Kurt Hummel years ago. He cleared his throat a few time before speaking again - that's besides the point anyways - I rolled my eyes and asked Sarah for a beer.

- Thanks - I smiled and she nodded

- Anytime -

I turned and looked back at Puck - of course she loves me , I don't have to be responsible with her ,we stay up the whole night and we eat a lot of fast food, we talk about boys and she knows she doesn't have to follow Quinn's rules or yours - I smirked waiting for his outburst.

- You talk about what ?! - he asked so loud even Sarah heard it a few feets away. She looked worried at us , I nodded and smiled at her and she turned back to the guy she was talking to - she isn't allow to talk about boys , she isn't allow to _think _about boys till she is at _least_ forty she is..-

- Puck - I tried to get his attention.

-..just thirteen, she's just a kid and..- he just kept rambling.

- Puck - I tried again.

- an-and..-

- Puck! - I yelled to get his attention - just kidding - he looked at me for a few seconds trying to put his macho suit back on before speaking again.

- They did that to us , you can't do it to him - his words brought the night Liza's parents died.

_Flashback _

_The girls were lying in Santana's bed , they have been there for the past four hours , Liza hadn't stop crying in Santana's arms since she heard the news about her parents car accident._

- wh-what I-I'm..- she was choking in her own tears and she couldn't form a proper sentence.

- Liz honey - Santana was trying to make Liza look at her.  


_- Honey look at me - Liza looked up from where she was lying on Santana's chest - you're not alone, I'm here and I promise you I won't leave you - Santana said stroking Liz's hair - I promise you - she repeated a few times._

- I-I l-lo..-Liza tried to speak again.  


_- Shh...is okay honey ,I love you too - Santana said and kept stroking her hair till the girl fell asleep in her arms._

End flashback

The memory brought back all the pain I felt that day when my world cracked right in front of me,and a new set of tears were already formed in my eyes. I was so stupid back then , so blindly in love.

I knew Puck was right, but I just couldn't do it , I couldn't see myself with a kid , I couldn't see myself taking care of anyone or having to be responsible, but I didn't said anything , I was tiered of talking about it , so I just opted for - I damn the day you became so mature -

He laughed and patted my shoulder - you'll thank me later sis -

With that our conversation ended , I said goodbye and went back to my place, to my lonely-small-cheap place. But I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep and that is why I didn't even tried a few hours I had cleaned the place like never before , you could almost see your reflection on the floor. But I wasn't tired enough to sleep and it was 05.14 a.m still too early to do anything. I took a way longer than necessary shower and changed outfit three times , I wasn't nervous or anything I just wanted to look good and suddenly everything seemed just not good enough... who am I kidding ? I was nervous as hell.

I still had time to kill so I decided to write a to do list, I wrote thing like to call my parents, buy groceries, watch that new movie which name I couldn't remember. And when I looked at the time again it was 7.32 a.m . It was the first time in months that I was up early enough to actually have breakfast, not that I had anything besides coffee but still.

Forty minutes later I was in Mr Scofield§ office.

- Miss Lopez, please sit down - he said after shaking my hand. He looked to his computer screen for a few seconds, pressed a few keys on his keyboard and then came the noise of the printer indicating it was working.

He looked back at me after putting the sheets on the table in front of me. - I'll cut to the chase then - he paused for a second - I just need you to sigh here, here and here- He pointed with his fingers on the paper.

When I looked down at the papers in front of me , it felt wrong , all about that situation felt jus wrong and the lump in my throat didn't helped. I remembered how broken Liza was when her parents died, how sad I felt when I was a kid and my dad told me about my "real mother " I felt so bad about myself , it was my fault she had left , it was because I was different , she didn't love me because _I am _different and she couldn't handle that. It was obvious the boy didn't have anyone else , the only family Liza had besides her parents , was an aunt that she had only seen once when she was eight. He was all alone , and no matter what issues she and I had none of them was his fault. I felt so egoist at that moment , I was going to leave a kid all alone because I was scared of the responsibilities and just then I made up my mind.

- No - I spoke for the first time since I was there.

He just looked confused - excuse me ? -

- I won't do it - I didn't remember the last time I felt so proud of myself.

- You won't sigh ? - when I nodded he spoke again - Miss Lopez if you don't sigh yo..-

I didn't let him finish I wasn't stupid , I knew what I was doing - I know that - I paused for a second before I smiled and spoke again - when can I meet him ? -

Maikel Scofield§ looked at me for a minute or two.

- Are you completely sure Miss ? is about a child we are talking here and that is a lot of responsibility-

He smiled when I nodded - I am - it was a simple answer but full of power , just like I felt at that moment, completely sure without room for doubts.

to be continued ...


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I looked at the time on my phone for the...well I had already lost counts.

Six , he said they would be here at six , it was 6:02 pm and still nothing. Like I wasn't nervous enough they have to be fucking late, I had spend the last few hours doing anything I could think of the keep my mind busy. I took my phone and called Puck , after a few rings he piked up.

"You better be dying" I rolled my eyes, and ignored him.

"They were supposed to be here like three minutes ago Puck" I waited for an answer but didn't heard anything , I looked at my iPhone to see if the line had gone dead then putted it back to my ear.

"Puck ? " I asked but not answer

"Puck ?" I asked again but still nothing

"Puck are you there ?" I heard some noises and people talking on the background.

"Hey Santana " that was without any doubt Quinn's voice.

"What the hell? Where is Puck ?" I asked her.

"He said something about manning up, he is in a really bad mood" there was some yelling on the background before I heard Quinn's voice again.

"What's wrong San, can I help you with something ? "

"They are late Q, what if they aren't coming ?" I began to look nervously around the house looking for something to concentrate on.

"They who ?" I rolled my eyes at her, I mean, seriously ?

" _They..." _who else would I be talking about ?

"Ohh _they" _Quinn chuckled before speaking again "San don't worry about it ma-"

"Don't worry ?! What if-" I heard someone knocking on the door and froze "Quinn there is someone on the door " whispered, why in gods name did I whispered ? Gosh I'm such a idiot.

"What are you waiting for open the door"I could heard the smile on her voice , she was excited.

"Right" I took a deep breath and started walking to the door, I knew Quinn was still talking but I couldn't hear anything so I just putted my iPhone back in my pocket.

When I opened the door my eyes landed directly on the little boy in front of me, he has this forest green eyes and for a second there I felt like I was staring in Liz's eyes, he has her skin color, but in the place of her blonde hear he has bruin,he was looking back at me.

"Miss Lopez ?" It sounded like the social worker was trying to get my attention for a while now, what's his name again ? Nop I can't remember , I cleared my throat and looked at him.

"Everything okay ?" Seriously that's what he wanted to ask ? Asshole! When I didn't answer he spoke again "You've got my number, please call me if you need anything and I see you next week"

"Sure"I said still looking at the kid, I guess we stared at each other for a while cause when I looked up , he was already gone.

I step aside to let him come in, and then I started getting nervous I sure as hell hadn't thought the whole situation through, what was I supposed to do now? Maybe I should call Quinn and ask her she must know what to do or maybe..

"I'm hungry" his voice stopped my train of thoughts and I frowned for a second before remembering that I wasn't alone.

"What ?" I asked looking at him.

"I'm hungry" he repeated, I looked around the place for a minute , I knew that the only thing I had was redbull and alcohol, why the hell hadn't I bought some grocery? I had spent ours doing anything I could think of just to keep my head busy but I hadn't thought_ that _dear God I'm so stupid.

"Sure..ammh.." I giggled nervously , seriously since when do I giggle ? "we can ammh we should buy some, some stuff " Jesus Lopez get you act together. I took a deep a really deep breath before I spoke again.

"We can go out and eat anything you want, what would you like ?" when he didn't answered I made a few seguestiones "Chinese , Italian , Mc Donald's ?" I wait for him to say something but... still nothing.

"amh this is awkward" I thought out loud " okay then ,let me take my jacket" it only took me a few seconds to find it, I look at his little backpack hanging on his back "would you like to leave that here" he shocked his head no , well that was a progress right ? "okay then" I tried to smile at him through my nervousness.

It only took us around 10 minutes walk to get to the little Italian restaurant I love so much. And to say it was an awkward walk would be the understatement of the year of the _century_, we just walked side by side in silence, he has his hands in his jacket pocket and I was looking at him from the corner of my eye, I didn't know how to star a conversation with him , about what do people talk with kids , Jeez I should have bought a book or something_ parenting for dummies_ . I was so glad when we walked in the restaurant. We sat and after a few minutes a waitress came to get our orders.

"Good afternoon" she smiled politely and so did I "what may get you ?"

"Coffee " I smiled at her and she nodded and then turned to.. Jesus Christ I didn't know his name, that was a good way to start. I looked just in time to hear him answer.

"Spaghetti please" I smiled I didn't know why but I felt butterflies in my belly when I hear him speak.

"Would you like something to drink?"

He nodded before he spoke "Yes, water please ?"

"I'll be right back"

When the woman disappeared he went back to looking at his hands on his lap. I didn't know how to get him to talk to me, what could I say ? He has just lost her mom and he was in a new place with people he didn't know,it must be a lot to take for a little boy.

"What's your name? " I felt stupid asking that question I should have know what his name was but I guess was too nervous when I signed the papers to ask.

He looked up "Kevin"

"I'm Santana" I smiled at him trying to hold his gaze.

" I know" that surprised me.

" You know ? " I asked just to make sure I heard him right and he nodded " how do you know ?"

He opened his mouth to speak but our waitress choose that moment to come back with our orders. I was going to leave her a nice tip but now she can forget about that, she placed everything down in front of us and we both said tank you , it was clearly Liz had done a good job with the boy, he was really polity.

I let him eat in silence while I was thinking ways to break the ice, after a few minutes I knew what to do , It was going to be painful for me I knew that too.

We were walking through Echo Park Lake in silence and he was looking around with a big smile on his face, I knew he was going to like it, we sat by the water and when I started talking he looked at me.

" Your mom and I loved it here" I looked at him sitting next to me before looking back at the lake as the memories came back and with them the melancholy " we used to come as much as we could and we always sat right there , against that tree" I mentioned with my hand to a tree a few feets away.

"You did ? " I smiled at the sight of me getting somewhere with him.

"We did , we wanted to live here after college but-" I took a deep breath , none of this was easy for me, all the memories I buried years ago were ripping my heart. "things changed" I looked at him to see if he was still following "do you know how I met your mother ?" I waited for him to answer but he only shocked his head no."well it was back in High School we became friends immediately and pretty soon I felt for her, she was the prettiest girl in our cheerleading squad, the prettiest girl in the whole school actually "I looked at him and saw him smiling , so I decided to continue "you know ..I made a fool of myself when I kissed her for the first time" I chuckled at the memory "I didn't know how to tell her I loved her, I didn't have the courage to tell her , I was so scared she'd hate me, so I drank myself drunk and went to her house I forgot my phone so I stood for around 20 minutes trowing little rocks at her window, when she finally opened it I tried to climb up the tree next to her window and felt twice" I chuckled and soon after we were both laughing , when our laugh died I continued "well I didn't break any bones thank God but I did have a few bruises , anyway I kissed her and then I passed out, when I woke up with a hell of a hangover I couldn't remember anything, but everything worked out eventually" I looked at his smiling face.

" Tell me more" he said with a big smiled. We spent around a hour and half talking , well I talked most of the time , he just listened and asked a few questions a while I knew I needed some answers so I went for it.

"Kevin" I called to get his attention, he looked from the ducks to me "do you know who I am ?"

"Mom said you are my other mom" he answered like it wasn't a bid deal at all, well I guess it wasn't for him, it took me a while to react.

"Or so I'm told" I murmured to myself.

"Are you ?" he was still looking at me. I frowned no really getting what he was saying. "I never had a daddy, mom say some people have two mommy's and sometimes two daddy's but I only have one mommy, are you my mom ?" I saw the sadness in his eyes and it broke my heart but I didn't know how to answer his question at least not yet.

"Do you know why you are here? " I decided to changed the subject.

I saw him nod "I'll stay with you for a while cause my mom is a little sick and you'll take care of me till she's better" my heart broke at that moment and the huge lump in my throat was unbearable , he didn't know and I didn't know how to tell him , gosh what came next has been the worst experience of my life.

"That won't happen" okay,I agree that wasn't the best way, his eyes went wide with confusion, I took a deep breath.

" She..." I couldn't find the right words to tell him "she died"

"What you mean ?"

" She di-"

" Like Mr Ruff ?" he interrupted me "he was my dog , but one day we ware in the park and he ran away from us and a car came and mom said he was in the dog heaven and he has wings like angels and he flies around and eats a lot of clouds" he rambled without pausing to breath.

"Well yes like that " I tried to smile but my smiled fade when he suddenly stood up with his fists tightly closed.

"No!" he yelled angrily "don't say that" and with that he start running away from me, I was shocked and when I came back to reality I started running after him , I found him hitting a tree with a branch he must have found on the ground, I smiled softy genetic can be strong.I let him few minutes he was angry I understood him.

I took the branch away and knelt in front of him "I'm sorry Kevin" he refused to look at me and just shock her head no.

"No , don't say that" he whispered I could see the tears forming in his eyes.

"I'm really sorry" I repeated again.

" I don't want her to be an angel , I don't want her to go away , she is my mom she has to take care of me" by the time he finished speaking he had started sobbing "why ?" I didn't know what to do or what to say , I felt my own tears cascading down my cheeks , I pulled my hand around him and he buried his face on my chest, I felt his little hands griping the back of my shirt and we sat there just crying.

When I finally stopped crying I looked at him to see him sleeping against my chest , I carried him back into the car and all the way up to my or _our _appartement. I took his shoes off and laid him down on my bed , I felt his gripping the front of my shirt when I was about to get up. I didn't have the energy to protest so took my shoes off and laid down next to him.

I woke up by an irritating sound coming from everywhere, I sat at my bed till I knew what the sound exactly was, it was the fire alarm. I looked at the bed besides me and when I didn't saw Kevin there I freaked out immediately in seconds I was out of my bedroom looking for him, the place was full of smoke and I started coughing. I saw him in the kitchen and when I looked around and didn't saw any fire I let out a sigh of relief , I opened up the widows and saw what has caused the whole thing, it was a baking pan with ... Well only God knows what was in it.

I turned to Kevin " what the hell do you think you are doing ? "

I saw the fear in his eyes and immediately regretted my words.

"I-" he sobbed " I-I'm sorry" he finally said.

"What were you doing?" I asked more calmly. I arched an eyebrow as I waited for his answer.

"Breakfast" he paused " I tried to wake you up but you wouldn't"

"Breakfast ? " I asked in disbelief, I don't know why I was surprised he is a kid , and normal people do eat breakfast at a _normal_ hour. I sighed, I had a feeling my days of sleeping till noon where coming to an end.

" Yes, mom always makes my breakfast" he said sadly.

I sighed again, wait a minute I didn't have_ anything _you could actually eat in my house.

"What did you put in here?" I took the baking pan and tried to figured out what was in there, I came out with nothing.

"Flour" he answer more calmly.

"Flour?" I frown

" Yes , and water, I was making us pancakes" he said proudly and I burst out laughing.

"Who taught you make pancakes ?" We were walking back to the bedroom.

"No one" he shrugged.

"So , how can you make them if you don't _know _how?"

" I couldn't know that I didn't know if I haven't try it , right ?" I started laughing again. I knelt to his level.

"I'll make you a deal" I wait for him to nod , when he did I spoke again "I'll teach you how to make them , but you can _never _do it alone, you like that ?"

"Yes!" he yelled enthusiastic, how lovely his innocence so enthusiastic about something like that, it made me smiled.

"Calm down before you break something" I chuckled. " now , we'll go out for some breakfast , we'll go buy grocery and some new cloth for you, cause I don't think you have much in there" I mention to his backpack and he just nodded.

We were at the grocery store , with a half full cart.

"San?" I turned around and saw Quinn with Beth walking towards me. "I have been calling and texting you" she kissed my cheek and so did Beth.

"Hi barbie" I said to Beth and then turned to Quinn. "didn't got them"

"Look at your phone" I huffed annoyed and took my phone out.

_9 missed calls from Bitch _and 7 _text messages _

" Jeez Quinn give me a break" I said still looking at my phone , I opened te first message.

_19:05 From Bitch:_

_Is he there ? _

_19:15 From Bitch: _

_San answer me I'm calling you ._

_20:16 From Bitch:_

_Where are you ? We are having dinner tomorrow night. Guess who is coming?_

_20:19 From Bitch :_

_Santana! Why don't you answer your phone. Something bad happened ? _

_21:36 From Bitch: _

_Please tell me you didn't kill the boy._

_21:37 From Bitch:_

_You did , didn't you ? And now you are burying his body aren't you ?_

_22:06 From Bitch: _

_CALL ME NOW ! _

" Jeez Quinn paranoia much ?" I looked up to see them both looking at Kevin hiding behind me.

" Oh right" I smiled and took his hand making him come out from his hiding spot and smiled at him.

" Kevin she is my best friend Quinn you can call her bi-"

"SANTANA!" Quinn yelled and glared at me , jeez this was going to be difficult.

"I'm your aunty" Quinn said sweetly, such a he didn't answer she looked at me silently asking if everything was okay.

I whispered to her "I told him yesterday about... you know" she nodded understanding and we both turned to see Kevin and Beth looking at each other.

"And she..." he looked at me "is my nice Beth, who knew the devil could have such a sweet kid " I said the last part looking at Quinn who just scoffed at me and looked at the little boy.

"She is your cousin" Blond bitch finished.

He looked at me for confirmation and when I nodded , he smiled with big eyes and said "I've never had a cousin before" it wasn't the first time he said something like that, a few minutes ago when we entered the grocery store and I asked him what he liked he asked with big curious eyes if he really could get anything he wanted and it got me wonder how the situation was with Liz, I hoped it wasn't _that _bad, the thought brought a brand new wave of pain , I wasn't there for him and now I didn't know what he had to go through , the guilt was eating me.

"There are some nice video games over there , you wanna look?" Beth asked him offering her hand at him to take.

He just looked at me.

"Hmm?"

"Can I go ?" I knew it would take a while for me to adapt to everything.

"May I" when the three of us looked confused at Quinn she said " It's may I go" still no answer from any of us "nevermind " she huffed.

"Amh sure go" he let go of my hand and took Beth's.

Quinn and I started walking without any destination in mind.

"And how is motherhood treating you ?"

I laughed softly "I don't know what I'm suppose to do most of the time"

The next day was Friday and Beth's birthday as usually we had family dinner and Saturday the party with her friends, no that I went to those , who would want to be in a house full of kids running everywhere. But this year was different cause Puck had told Kev about the party and he was very excited about it so I was _forced_ to go, when he looked at me with that hopeful smiled I couldn't tell him no. That's why we were at the shopping centrum on the hunt of a birthday present.

Kevin was grabbing my hand like his life depended on it, I understood though were he came from was much smaller and I for sure didn't want him to get lost in the sea of people.

"What do you thing she'll like?" I asked him.

He looked up at me "flowers" I smiled cause he was such a sweet boy, always saying things I never expected a 6 years old to know "my mom said when you think a girl is pretty you should buy her flowers cause girls love flowers" he finished with a proud smile.

"So ... You thing she is pretty" I said before I saw his pick cheeks and started laughing.

At around seven we were knocking on my family's door.

Puck opened up the door and immediately gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He held his hand up for Kev to high five him.

"Hi buddy" Kevin smiled.

"Hi Pucky" Puck faked annoyances at hearing his words.

"Hey! It's Pucksaurs little boy" we laughed and he held the door open for us to walk inside and then closed it behind him. We were walking to the living room when I turned around facing Puck.

"What did Quinn made ?" I didn't wait for an answer "I hope she made enough of everything caus gosh I'm st-" I stoped talking when I saw he wasn't paying attention to me but to something behind me. When I turned around the words "holly shit" escaped my mouth before I could stoped them.

"Santana, Is that how you greet your parents" my mom said, I don't know why I was so surprised they always came for Beth's birthday, and Puck's...and Quinn's ...and mine. Money wasn't a problem for them. I shocked my head to clear my thought.

"Mami , papi " I said as I smiled and gave them both a one hand hug. But they didn't answered, their attention was on the little boy still holding my hand.

"Oh" Jeez, I wasn't prepare for that "amh..Kev this are my parents I told you about them you remember?" he nodded and smiled politely at them. I saw my parents looked at my confused waiting for an explanation.

"He is- amh well I think- he-" lucky for me Beth walked in saving me from having to explain things in front of Kevin.

"Hi barbie" we said at the same time and Puck and Beth laughed, my parents just looked confused at us.

"Happy Birthday" he said giving her the white rose he was holding with his free hand. I heard a few "aww" from my mom and Quinn who had joined us in the living knelt in front of him and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks Kev"

"Look what we bought you" he let go of my hand took off the little back pack he likes caring everywhere and took out Beth's birthday gift.

Beth smiled when she saw the xbox game,I think it was _street football_ he said Beth liked it when they were looking around. "Nice!you wanna play ?" Kev nodded and the disappeared to Beth's bedroom.

"So.." I turned my attention to my parents when I heard my dad talking "care to explain?" I looked around us to see that both Quinn and Puck were gone._ I guess I'm on my own._

Later that night when we were having dinner Puck asked with a teasing smirk.

"So..are you excited for the party tomorrow?"

"I am soooooo excited ! " I said facking enthusiasm "Ialmost feel sorry that I'll have to leave early, OH! Wait no I don't " I said more dryly this time .

"Leave early why ?" Quinn who was sitting next to him asked.

"I have a job interview"

"What ? Why ? You don't need a job, you HAVE a job" Puck was freaking out a little bit , it was funny actually .

"Calm dow Pucky , I can't work at a night club AT NIGHT, what about Kevin ?" at hearing his name the little boy looked at me I shocked my head no and he turned back to my parents and Beth who were talking about only God knows what

The rest of the night went peaceful , my parents loved Kev and he seemed to like them to, I couldn't ask for anything else. They weren't exactly happy that I needed to leave early next day. But since I usually didn't go at all , and I needed to leave for a job interview they didn't complain much. Kevin asked if he could stay and they were happy to say yes , but I did warn Puck though

"If I'm come back and he has a mohawk I'll rip off your head" I turned to Kevin "and you'll keep your head but you will be in so MUCH trouble, am I clear ?" he nodded fiercely, it was actually hard to contain the smile that was forming in my face. "Good" I knelt in front of him "that's my boy" I patted his head. "I don't think I need to say this but behave okay?"

"Yes mami" I froze when I heard him, the word sended chills through my body and my heart was bitting faster. When I didn't say anything he putted his little hands around my neck and and he cuddled me. I saw Quinn looking at me from behind Kevin with her disgusting sweet smile. I coughed and stood up, I patted his head one more time and left without saying another word but not before glaring at Quinn of course.

The next few days went pretty quickly I thought it was going to be hard take care of someone else than myself but to my surprise it wasn't. It wasn't easy either but Kevin was such a sweet little boy and it hurt my so much every time I saw his sad eyes, I knew he needed time to adjust and the lost of a mother isn't easy for anyone. We spent hours talking in bed about everything and nothing , I told him all the memories I had with Liz , or most of them actually, there were some I couldn't tell a kid,he loved talking about her , learning about her even when sometimes we cried ourself to sleep

"I'm so sorry Kev, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you" he was sobbing against my chest like he had done before.

"C'mom I got you something" I said standing up before we felt asleep like usually.

"A-a gi-gift ?" he asked between sobs.

"Yes" I said smiling

"But It-its not my birthday" he said more clearly.

"Oh you don't want it" I shrugged nonchalantly "Okay"

"NO! I want it!"

I took the big box from where I hided it the day before and saw his eyes grow impossible big , he looked like one of this Japanese manga were the character's eyes were almost as big as their head.

"It is sooooo big"

I putted it on the ground "open it up" the words hadn't left my mouth and he was ripping the paper off.  
When he saw what was inside his eyes grew even bigger than before , I still don't know how that was possible.

I had seen him a few days before jumping in front of the TV playing a imaginary guitar when one of Aerosmith's song was playing and he seemed to be having fun so I got him a..

"You got me a guitar ?" he asked incredulous , I smiled and he looked back at the guitar still on the ground like he wanted to make sure it was still there after a few seconds of just staring at it he started jumping up and down yelling "I have a guitar" over and over again.

I tried to make him stop fearing he was going to wake up the whole Block but my "shhts" didn"t work and he didn't stop when I tried it with words "Kev calm down , you're gonna break something" but doubt I he even hear me.

"You want me to teach you a song" that got him to stop. I sat at the ground and opened up my legs for him to sit in between, I'm not exactly an expert but I did picked up something with Puck. It was an easy song Puck hag taught me years ago. I placed his little fingers on the right position from when I sat behind him. He got it pretty soon.

"Are you sure you haven't done this before ?" He giggled and shocked his head no.

"Well you're a nature talent. Now...let see if you can sing"

I'm damn sure that the people he hadn't woke up, with his jumping and yelling were awake now. But fuck them all I was teaching MY SON a song.

**To be continued... **


	4. Chapter 4

AN:/ hope everyone is enjoying the story. Thanks to everyone BTW. If you have a question/suggestion or you something you wanna let out , feel free to let me know. Enjoy...

**Chapter 4 **

A year had passed since I met Kevin.

"You knew didn't you ?" I yelled walking my way through the family house without knocking.

"San what ar-" I found Quinn in the kitchen.

"Cut the fucking crap Fabray you knew and you didn't fucking bother to tell me?" God I was angry I wanted to hit something so BADLY if only to relieve all the frustration building inside of me.

"What are yo-" she stoped mid sentence "oh" her expression changed she knew only a few thing could get me this mad and it wasn't hard for her to guess wich one was.

"Oh ? Is that all you have to say ?" I kept yelling trowing my hands in the air.

"I'm sorry I-"

"What's going on ?" Puck entered the room.

"She knows" she answered him.

"Oh" just like Quinn it was the only thing he could say, he turned slowly to face me, almost afraid of meeting my eyes. He open his mouth and closed like a fish out of the water.

I scoffed "You knew too !" it wasn't a question just a confirmation , of course he knew.

" San I-"

"You knew" I trow my hand in the air again, desperately. I couldn't believe it "fucking asshole" just like any siblings I have wanted to hit him before and actually did a couple of time when we were kids, but a this moment I really wanted to hurt him badly, I wanted to take off all my frustration on him and feeling his betrayal wasn't helping me a all. He tried to come closer to me but when I glared at him he immediately backed off and raising his hand in the air protective in front of him.

"I di-" I couldn't even listing to him to any of them.

"Save it Noah, I don't wanna hear it" I looked at Quinn "you are suppose to be my best friend Quinn and you just...fuck it how could you?" there were so many things I needed to let out.I felt the bomb inside of me could go off any minute and I wasn't sure the damage it could do.

"List-"

It was Puck speaking again.

"Shut the hell up Noah, SHUT UP, you are my brother,M-Y BROTHER, but no you choose to no say a fucking word to my all because that fucking bitch told you" I mention to Quinn with my hand still glaring at him.

"It wasn't like that San it's ju-" he tried to defend himself but I already had heard enough.

"How was it then ?" when he didn't answered I yelled again "fucking tell me Noah, how was it?" ha looked from the ground back to me and I could clearly see in his face that he didn't had nothing to say, at least nothing could have confirmed his words from just a few seconds ago.

"I-I.."

"Just what I thought.. fucking nice brother are , did she cut off your balls or-" the rest of my sentence died when Quinn slapped me across my face. It actually calmed me down and I was shocked when I saw High School Quinn looking back at me. I hadn't see that side of her since..well High school.

"Now you'll listing to me" she started hitting me hard with her pointing finger across my chest. I lost my balance for second in surprise and almost felt backwards but I manage to caught myself before it was too late "if you are gonna blame someone, blame your fucking ass self, you are the one who messed it up, like always, you are the one who can't keep it in her pants, you are the only one to blame" she didn't stoped to breath "haven't you fucking heard about condoms?" she asked incredulous, but didn't wait for an answer. "Don't you dare coming here yelling at us like it's our fault, she tried to tell you but you didn't care to listing, you broke her, used her like you have done with so many people before and after her" she pushed me backwards again with her pointing finger, standing uncomfortable close to my face I could she the fire in her hazel eyes. "your girlfriend cheated on you back in college , boo hoo poor you, GET OVER IT, that isn't an excuse for how you treat people and you fucking know that, you don't deserve to-"

"What's going on ?" I hear Beth's shaking voice behind me and immediately turned around to face her, I could clearly see the fear in her eyes and hand slightly shaking. When I saw that picture I truly regretted going there, it hurt to know that the fear and the tears forming in her eyes were because of me. I smiled at her the best I could and nodded to let her know everything was fine.

I turned to Puck and Quinn "It nice to know you got my back" I said more to Puck than anyone else in surprised at how calmly my voice came out. It had a deeper feeling to us and I clearly saw it in his face, he remembered it too.

I could clearly hear his childish voice and my own cries as I held onto him for dear life.

_"Is okay little sis" he was rubbing my back slowly "they won't come back" he said confidently._

_"N-no?" my voice was shaking from all the crying. He laughed out loud._

_" Of course no, they know I got you back now , and they know I'll kick them really hard in the face" I laughed softly. I'm sure he picked that up in some gangster movie on TV. I rubbed my tears away with the back of my hand, and spoke up more confidently._

_"I got you too" _

_"I know" he took my hand and we started to make our way back to our home from the little park in Lima "Oh...I have a new plan to steal mom's cookies" we smiled evilly at each other._

I shocked my head furiously to get rid of the memory when tears threatened to scape my eyes. I could hear him calling for me when I left the house without looking back.

I got in the car with a sigh, taking a deep breath before I spoke.

"Hey baby, you wanna go to Tommy's house?" I looked at Kevin who was siting in the passenger seat, he nodded and I tried to smile at him. He knew something was wrong and he knew it was better to just be quite till it blows away.

The directress of Kevin's school is Tommy's mom, they are in the same class and had been friends since the beginning.

I knocked at her door.

"Santana ? It's go to see you" she kissed my cheek and smiled at me. Then looked at Kevin "Tommy is in his room go ahead" she step aside and Kevin walked-ran inside. It wasn't the first time he came here , we had a play date almost every weekend sometimes they came to our house or we went to the park or to the movies, I think is safe to say Sarah and I were friends, she is nice and funny , and a beautiful married woman , who had wanted to get into my pants since the first time I met her when Kev started school last year.

"Hi Sarah" I gave her my most charming smile. "Sorry I didn't call..can he stay here for a few hours I..." I let out a sigh "I need some time"

"Of course, whatever you need" she said sweetly. the truth is my old self would have fuck her already, maybe a few times if she was good. But I have changed so much in the last year and all thank to Kevin. I have had a few dates and dated one of her for two moths but I broke up with her a few moth ago, it wasn't going anywhere and I was only with her because , she was good in bed and I'm human after all.

"Are you okay Santana, want to come in and have a drink?" she asked bathing her eyelashes.

"I need to be alone right now" she nodded understanding "but..rain check ?"

She hold my shoulders and smiled at me "I'll hold you to that " she waited till I nodded then she kissed my again.

"Tell him I'll be back soon please" I was already walking back to my car.

"Of course bye Santana" she waved my good bye.

I sat at the lake just throwing rocks at water , scaring the ducks away. I was as much calmer still mad a them but not furious like before, just disappointed, sad maybe. I know I wasn't fair but I'm their family they should have told the moment they knew but Quinn was right it was all my fault not that I was planning on apologize because they still should have told me. I have the right to know, right ?

It all started this afternoon an hour or two before I had to picked up Kevin from school. I was at work when my phone rang and I picked it up without looking who was calling.

"Dr Lopez ?"

Yeah..I'm the Chief Medical Officer of L.A's Police Department. Not exactly what I was going for, but an old college friend got me the interview, I got the job pretty easy. Months later Dr Jansess who was at that time the CMO said he wasn't needed there anymore that the department was in good hands and he could retired in peace, and the rest its history. Truth be told I was only planning in staying there till I found what I was looking for but its seems like I already had found it, so I never left. I truly love my job.

_" Hi Santana" _

"Oh hi Sarah , how are you doing?"

_"I'm fine thanks, you?"_ I could hear her smile on the phone.

I looked down at the body I was working on "kind of busy right know , can I call you back?"

Her voice got more serious when she spoke again _"actually I need to talk about Kevin" _

"What's wrong ?" I was already worried.

_"He got into a fight, he is fine don't worried, not a scratch can't say the same about the other two boys though"_ She chuckled softly

" It's just the first day school" I whinnied "I'll be there" I said resigned, there wasn't a escape to it anyways. I took the time I had till school was over to look over some paper work. I changed clothes and was soon walking through the school's hall.

The door to Sara's office was open she was sitting behind her desk and the two sets in front of her were occupied. The three of them turned to look at me when I walked in.

"Santana is nice to see you" Sara's was already by my side kissing my cheek she is way too touchy Jeez.

"Hola mami" the boy said with a charming smiled thinking that would get him out of stood up gave me a hug, that won't keep him out of trouble either. That's when I noticed the girl who stood up with him, and apparently I wasn't the only one who noticed cause Sara was looking between us and it was almost comically how her head went from staring at the little girl to staring at me and then started the process all over again, with her mouth slightly open and frowning like she was trying to read Japanese.

She finally smiled at me "you hadn't mention your had a daughter befo-" the noise at the door made her stop mid sentence and we all turned to look at the woman who has just entered the room. Our eyes looked immediately and the tension in the room was even felt but the two kids who walked backwards a few steps and looked at each other, like a time bomb was about to explode.

The blond blue eyed woman seem froze with her hand still half way to her mouth and the cup coffee she was supposed to be holding on the ground and most of the liquid inside spilled on her clothes I saw the hot steam leave her body from where to hot liquid had fallen, but she literally didn't move a muscle , she was staring right at me and I was staring right back.

"Mo-mom?"

The soft voice snapped the woman out of her frozen state, and she looked down at her clothes and the mess she had made and I saw how she instantly began to panic with a horrifies look on her face.

**To be continued...**

Such a cliffhanging heh ? I KNOW ! But thins will be explain soon!


	5. Chapter 5

AN:/ Hi I need to make something clear; just to make sure you guys won't get confused, last chapter Santana sat at the lake , telling what had happened that morning, at the beginning of this chapter , she would still be telling the last part of what happened. That's all ;)

So its seems like everyone is enjoying this fic, I'm glad. Tell me what you think of this chapter, I really like it a lot and I can't wait to hear what you think.

**Chapter 5**

_"Mo-mom?" _

_The soft voice snapped the woman out of her frozen state, and she looked down at her clothes and the mess she had made and I saw how she instantly began to panic with a horrifies look on her face._

She was trying to clean the floor with a few napkins she had took out of her purse while saying "I'm sorry" over and over again. It was quite funny actually , seeing her go from a frozen art work to overenergetic Tigger. Seriously watching all those kids movie with Kevin was starting to mess with my head. I did wish I could have laugh but I was just as frozen as she was before her energy took her by her shoulders.

"I'm really sorry" she apologized again.

"Is okay Ms Pierce please sit down" she nodded weakly and did als she was told. I followed and sat on the other stool in front of Sarah's desk. The little girl immediately ran to her mother and sat on her lap. God I really needed to get the hell out of there as soon as possible. I couldn't stop looking from mother to daughter I just couldn't believe that it was happening again, like seriously there is something seriously with me , no kidding. The little girl was narrowing her eyes at me trying to intimidate it was cute and I couldn't helped it when a little smiled formed on my lips.

To say it was weird will be a big understatement. Because aside from the lighter skin and her gray eyes it was like looking in a mirror, or more like looking at a old photograph. I looked at the blonde woman and could see that she knew I was looking at her not only because I was burning holes on her face, or because she was narrowing her eyes, clearly trying to keep them focused in front of her, but because the girl on her lap was whispering to her, trying to get het mother to look at her, but she was TOO concentrated on keeping her ayes on the wall behind Sarah. She stood up suddenly with her daughter still in her arms.

"I-I ha-have to go"

"Ms Pierce we need to t-" the woman was already running out of the door without another word or even a look back.

Sarah cleared her throat, I forced my eyes away from the door that I have been staring at when they ran out.

"I'm guessing the two of you know each other" I could hear the small hint of jealousy in her voice but I couldn't care less, I didn't bother to answer her question.

"We have to go" and just like that we walked out leaving her with the words on her mouth. I let my body relaxed on the drivers sit, throwing my head back and covering my face with both hands. I just couldn't believe it.

"M-mami?" Kevin spoked softly, his voice hesitating. "didn't you liked my friend?" he asked with a hint of panic in his voice.

I forced a smile on my face but answered sincerely "she seemed sweet" he nodded in agreeing with me.

"She is like my best friend ALL time"

I giggled at his words "you just met her today sweety"

"No I didn't, I met her at Beth's party"

And that is how I ended in Puck's house. I looked down at the time on my phone, still sitting on the same spot. I had been there for hours, my but was sore. I stood up, I needed to pick Kevin up from Sarah's. I tried to ignore the unsettling bubbling, steaming feeling in my stomach. It was making my nauseous, I felt like didn't have enough air in my lungs and it was making my head spin around. I made my way to my car. Kevin, I needed to pick him up.

_Flashback_

_The music was pounding hard, the place was packed and the atmosphere was perfect. The two sibling had moved to L.A a few weeks ago. And that night was the opening night of they brand new night club._

_Quinn made her way to the bar and sat down with new friend. She had just moved to L.A with a seven years old Beth. Puck took it upon himself to send Quinn to college. They made a deal,he would take care of Beth when Quinn was in college, he was even paying for the whole thing, and Quinn promised to pay him back, he didn't care about the mony though,like he had told his ex-girlfriend, he wanted a future for his baby and for that he needed his baby mama to have a future too, he shrugged it off by telling her he was doing it for Beth not for her._

_Santana approached the two blondes. _

_"Hola chica , what can I get you linda?" she smirked and winked at the girl. It was clearly she liked her and she was going for it. The girl's cheeks turned furiously pink at the attention she was getting from the hot latina._

_"I-I..." the poor girl didn't even have chance she was lost in the Latina's playful smirk._

_"Eyes off Lopez" Santana turned to look at Quinn._

_"Oh it's you Fabray I hadn't even see you my attention was" she looked at the still flushed girl finishing her sentence "somewhere else" Quinn rolled her eyes at her friend._

_"What would you like to drink Britany?" Quinn asked her new friend but the girls was still looking at Santana, more like staring at Santana's boob's wich was kind of normal since Santana's shirt left little to imagination with that cleavage. "Britt" Quinn whispered in her ear. Brittany realized was she was doing and she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand before looking at Quinn, refusing to look at the Latina, she was already busy enough trying to suppress the dirty thoughts that were crept into her head, she didn't need to make it more difficult for herself by looking at the latina again._

_"Ma-martini" she finally let out, still refusing to look at Santana fearing those thought. Santana saw right through it and smirked even she disappeared Quinn looked at her friend._

_"Seriously Britt stay away from her" Quinn warned the girl to stay out of trouble, she thought her new friend was really sweet and didn't need that , and she also knew good enough that Santana Lopez was trouble._

_"You two..?" she took a quick look at the girl in question "you know.." _

_Quinn started laughing holding her stomach, the taller girl didn't understand why she was laughing, but it happened constantly that people laugh at things she says so she got used to it. She waited to her friend laughter died._

_"Of course not, really ,just old friends" Brittany tried not to smile at the new information , but felt miserably at the task. "but believe me stay away" Quinn finished in a serious tone._

_Santana placed a glass in front of Quinn without even looking at her._

_"Here you go Britt-Britt I made it special for you" the blonde girl blushed at the new nick name._

_"Th-thanks" she manage to get out doing the best she could to keep her attention on her glass and nothing else , or rather no one when she heard the Latina's cute chuckle she couldn't help it, she realized immediately it was a mistake when she got lost in those chocolate eyes and her gaze felt to those full kissable lips, an uncomfortable pressure formed between her legs and she felt shiver run through her whole body._

_"Get lost Santana" Quinn hissed breaking the, in her opinion, disgusting eye sex she was witnessing. Santana rolled her eyes still looking at Brittany wich made the girl giggle, she gave her one last wink and an 'I-wanna-fuck-you-smile' before going back to what she was doing before._

_Soon the blondes were chatting animated ,Santana all forgotten. But after a few more martinis and all the smirks she sended the blonde it was getting harder to Brittany to concentrate in anything her friend could be saying. Santana had enough too she was getting bored of just 'fooling around' and she wanted the girl, but every time she came close Quinn face would crumple in a scowl she needed to get rid off her. She walked to where her brother was talking with a group of girls at the end of the bar and whispered in his hear "I need you to take care of Quinn" he looked at the girl in question who was laughing with another hot ass blonde and he wincked approving at his little sister, Santana smirked back. They didn't know words to communicate sometimes it was like they shared one brain. Puck trow the rag he was using dry the glasses he had just cleaned up aside._

_He whispered in Quinn ears, they share a few more words before they were both walking to the back of the club where they had the little room they used as office. Santana would never know what he said to Quinn nor did she care, the mission was accomplished and that is what she cared about. She told the new guy who had just started working there whom name she never got, to take care of the place himself after all it wasn't as busy as it was at the begin of the night and she didn't need him clockbloking her._

_She walks to the girl and sit besides, she gives the girl one of her flirtatious smiles. Brittany immediately __shif__ted__ awkwardly under her gaze. The__ dirty__ images still lingering fresh in her mind made her just want to apologize__. But she can't because Santana was talking to her but she couldn't hear a thing, too busy staring at her lips to actually hears anything._

_Satana's lips weren't moving anymore which means she had stoped talking, which mean Brittany hadn't hear a word the girl had said._

_She wanted to slap herself ,hard, for being so stupid. But the only reason why she didn't do just that is because that only would made her look like a bigger idiot. She forced her eyes away from the Latina's lips. The playful spark in the girl brown eyes let Brittany knows that she was caught._

_"I-I'm so-sorry I-" she beg her mind to come up with something, some excuse that won't make her look like a complete creep. She is thankful when Santana speaks again, saving her from trying to explain herself._

_"I was asking you if you wanna dance, you seems like you do" _

_"What makes you think that?" she thanks every magical being she can think of that her voice came out with such confidence cause she definitely did not felt confident at all, she just felt like a big idiot, that why it surprised it her that the Latina would ask her to dance._

_Santana only looks down at Brittany's foot, that's when she realized she is moving them with the music. She remembers Quinn's warning _stay away from her _when she looks back up at Santana ready to tell her that she rather just wait for Quinn she changed her mind, one dance could,'t hurt right ? Besides she didn't like being mean to people and the other girl was only being nice, and with reasoning she jumped out of her stool and took Santana's hand._

_She trows her hand around Santana's neck and started swaying with the music,carless. It was clearly for Santana that the girl was in her element, and she smiled cause that was a nice surprise. The songs finished and Flo Rida's song Low took over._

_'Gotta have them apple Bottom jeans (jeans)_

_Boots with the fur (with the fur)_

_The whole club was looking at her_

_She hit the floor (she hit the floor)_

_Next thing you know ' _

_Brittany smiled and shameless wink at Santana before spinning around and swaying her hips in circular motion only centimeters away from Santana's front. _

_'Shawty got low,_

_low, low , low , _

_low , low, low, low _

_Brittany did just like the song said and went painful slow down still swaying her hips in gulped staring at Brittany ass._

_'I ain't never seen something that'll make me go _

_This crazy all night spending my doe'_

_When Brittany came back up Santana place her hand on Brittany's hips, and brought her closer to her , pressing her front against the girl's back and they started rocking their hips in unison._

_'Had the million dollar vibe and a body to go_

_Them birthday cakes they stole the show_

_So sexual she was flexible, professional, drinking X&O_

_Hold up, wait a minute, do I see what I think? Whoa ' _

_And that's when the blonde girl felt it, at the beginning she thought it was her imagination playing tricks on her mind or that she had a few martinis too much. But no , the bump against her ass was there , she could feel it , and she knew exactly wat it was, she had dance with enough boys and they alway had the same reaction. She gasped in surprised and stoped her movement, she turned around facing Santana and frowned confused, Santana gulped suddenly she didn't feel all that confident anymore. Brittany looked from her eyes to her lap , with the same frown, questioning. When she looked back up to Santana's face all the insecurities disappeared out of the brunette's head, she saw Brittany's eyes turn impossible dark full with lust and a smirk made his way in the girl face, she saw no remains of the shy girl sitting on the bar, that girl couldn't form a proper sentence, this one seemed out of a porn magazine, hair slightly tousled, lips parted , panting with dark blue eyes that were looking at her like she wanted to rip her clothe off. No it was definitely not the same girl._

_Santana took the girls hand and they walked out of the night outside Santana spoke "around the corner" Brittany's heart started betting faster, she was sure it wanted to get out of her chest, but she didn't had time to second guess the whole thing, Santana's apartment was literally around the corner, it took them less than three minutes to get there._

_Brittany opened her mouth to speak when Santana's was opening the door but her words died in her throat when Santana step inside and gripped her shirt with both hands pulling Brittany inside with her. She pushed Brittany hard against the still half open door, the door closed with the pressure of the girl body and Santana pushed her own body against Brittany's. She took a look of Brittany's face, but the blonde's eyes were glued to her lip, she smirked and pressed her mouth together. Brittany lost the little common sense she had left, she wasn't that type of girl , she hadn't done something like that before, ever, but at that moment she couldn't care less as what type of girl she could be label for going to bed with a girl she hadn't had a proper conversation with yet , let alone know. Brittany putted her legs around the brunette's waist and the brunette who was surprising strong for someone her size carried her to her bed sucking at her neck, she let Brittany fall roughly on her bed and she felt with her due Brittany's legs still around her waist, she stoped sucking at Brittany neck where she could see hickies already forming._

_"I-I ne-need a cond-" she left her sentence unfinished when she saw Brittany's __mortified__ face. Santana was sure that the pink on Brittany's face wasn't only from arousal "som-some thing wr-wrong?" she asked slowly,hesitating and still trying to get her breathing under control._

_"I-I.." Brittany was looking everywhere but her. An uneasy feeling formed in Santana's stomach."I-I..well..I" the shy girl sitting on the bar was back._

_"Please..ju-just tell me" Santana did her best to sound calm, confident._

_"I-I"ve never" Brittany looked at her for a second before quickly looking away "you know" _

_It took Santana a while to realize what the girl was implying, her jaw dropped and her eyes grew bigger in surprised. After the initial shock she smiled, genuinely smiled ,a smiled that reached her eyes and made her face lit up,not once of those smirked that she had being giving Brittany the whole night. The taller blonde couldn't help it but smiled with her,there in the bed of a stranger which said stranger smiling softly at her she felt safe. Santana didn't spoke, she bent down and brought her lips together in a kiss that everything from softly, __sweet and smooth like the light, airiness of the whipped cream __that Brittany liked to have in her coffee every morning, to hot and passional like her love for dancing__.__Santana __nibbled flirtatiously at __Brittany__'s lips which were smiling adorably __at her "I'll take care of you" she finally said, with a sweet voice she had never heard herself speak with, completely forgetting why she had stoped kissing the girl in the first place._

_The sun was starting to come out when Santana opened her eyes , rubbing the back of her hand against them trying to get rid of her sleeping eyes. The only reason she had woken up was because she needed water,her mouth felt like the desert itself. But the body still sleeping against her chest didn't let her move. She smiled for a second, till she realized what it means. Had she slept there ? She stood up fast, in one smooth motion, the other girl felt back on the bed waking up. Brittany looked around the room confused for a second before remembering where she was, her eyes landed on the brunette and she smiled shyly, softly rubbing her eyes._

_"Morning" she said lazily with a giggle,her voice a little hoarse from the previous night activities."I'm so hungry" she smiled letting her body fall back against the mattress "you want me to make you some pancakes?" she looked at Santana and at seeing the frown in the girls face she sat again "or...something else ?" _

_" I don't eat breakfast" Santana replied coldly, but Brittany didn't noticed, she was distracted , too happy thinking about the previous night, her first just had her very Cinderella's story with her very own Prince Charming, and she couldn't be more happy about it._

_"Well..you should, it's the most important meal of the day" she smiled at Santana "what about lunch?" Santana didn't answered "you do eat right ?" she asked just to be sure, still no answer, that's when she saw it in her face, she didn't knew the girl at all , but she could tell something just wasn't right "wh-what's wrong?" she asked nervously. _

_Santana spoke immediately "you slept here" she stated matter-of-factly with a frown._

_"Oh.." the taller blonde stood up, covering her body with the sheets, she looked around awkwardly, everything didn't felt so perfect anymore"I-I'm sorry ..it was too late, and I was re-really tired I guess I-I.'ll.." she found her clothes lying on the ground and started to get dress, she looked at the girl cold expression , she wasn't sure what she had done wrong, she thought everything was perfect, that last night was perfect, it has been the best night of her life, and the remember that the Latina seemed pretty happy too. She was confused. She looked at Santana again when she was completely dressed, her expression was the same, and tears were already forming in Brittany's eyes "I guess you won't ask for my number" she shocked her head at her own stupidity. But still hoped for any kind of protest from the other girl, when it didn't come she mumbled to herself "I-I guess I'll see you around" and as fast as her strong legs could carried her, she ran out of the apartment. Watching the girl run out of her house, Santana felt for the first time in months a suffocating lump form in her throat and her heart batting hard against her chest, it wasn't right, what had she done?_

_It wasn't until weeks later when Santana go to see the blonde again . After what happened Brittany never went back to the club, wich Santana was grateful for it, after how she had felt that morning she didn't know how she'd react if she saw the girl again._

_She looked down at her phone when she felt it vibrate in her hand, she had a text._

_From Kriss: _

_Where the hell are you ?_

_Damn she was going to be late,and she could NOT be late, Santana would rater died than miss it, she knew she was exaggerating but Kriss had got her backstage tickets for, The All-American Rejects, and she was NOT going to miss a second of it, she cursed at herself and as quickly as she could got her jacket and waved her brother goodbye. She ran to the door trying to type a text to let Kriss know that she was coming. _

_She ran into someone when she got to the door , she didn't even bother to look up until she heard her voice._

_"San-Santa?" she looked up , slowly , hoping that she was she wasn't,she saw Brittany red eyes and the girl looked like she would start to puke any second, it made her heart twist in her chest, she didn't why, but she didn't like it a bit. They just stared at each other , neither could tell for how long though. She heard Brittany speak again "ca-can we talk?" Brittany hugged her own body,nervous waiting for an answer. Santana scoffed, rolled her eyes and shock her head annoyed, of all the days the girl could have gone there she choose THAT night, what's wrong with her timing? The brunette just looked at her, waiting for Brittany to said whatever she needed to say, hoping it wont take her long, the blonde shift uncomfortable and looked around the club for a second before looking back at Santana "I-I'm la-late" Santana rolled her eyes again, thinking that Brittany should learn how to hold her alcohol, the blonde, with her puffed red eyes and raspy voice looked in Santana's eyes like she had a few shots to much. Santana wasn't expecting her to say something so... __incoherent__ , she didn't even know what the blonde girl was late for. Her phone vibrated in her hand again and both girls looked down at it._

_From Kriss:_

_You better get your ass here right now_

_It's gonna start._

_A heavy sigh came out of Santana's mouth._

_"So am I" she replied still looking at her text, and without even looking up she ran out of the door. She thought she heard a whisper coming from the taller girl. But the words she thought she heard didn't made any sense , that and she wasn't even sure of what she heard with the music still pounding hard in her ears she couldn't tell. She waved it off,quickly. She didn't had time to think twice about it, she was late._

_End flashback_

I carried Kevin out of the car, he had fallen a sleep on our way home. He just kept snoring softly in my arms, not that I was expecting him to wake up cause that boy could sleep through a hurricane. It has been a long day, for both of us. And I needed to sleep this day off. Tomorrow everything will look different.

**To be continued... **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/n : Here it is then. I think this chapter will answer some questions, as always you are welcome to tell me your opinion or anything at all. Enjoy !**

**Do I need to keep writing that I don't own Glee? **

**Chapter 6 **

I was wrong, a good night sleep wasn't going to and didn't made everything look different. When I woke up everything was the had magically change during those hours I spend the same mess I had created. And I? still the same idiot. However, I do see everything more..more clearly now. It does not make me feel any better, everything is my fault. And now I don't have anyone to be by my side, to talk to. Because the two people that were always there for me, weren't now. And I don't understand why, don't they think I have the right to know ? Or do they think I can't be a good mom ? I know I'm not perfect , but I do the best I can with Kev and I know I could be a good mom for my daughter to if she gives me the chance. I messed things up, but I wanna make it right. I had to smiled a the feeling , I have a daughter, a beautiful daughter.

I woke up long before I usually did, and had a lot of time to think in the shower, in that long , hot and super relaxing shower. I ended up in a surprisingly good mood, so I decided to give Kev a little surprise. I hurried up to the kitchen and began cooking, murmuring that stupid song that has been stuck in my head since yesterday. I heard Kevin's footsteps coming closer to the kitchen.

"Morning sweety" I said smiling at him, he had bed hair and cute iron man boxers, he doesn't really like pajamas, just like me. He just looked so cute standing there with his sleepy face and rubbing his eyes. He murmured something in replied , to lazy to actually speak.I walked to the table with the food I had just finished. And had to laugh at his reaction.

"You made pancakes" his face was pure exactment. I learned soon enough that all the sugar syrup he put on his pancakes made him giddy for the whole day, he'd talks my ears off and has way to much energy for me to keep up, that's why we always had a more healthy breakfast. But I know he loves pancakes, so why no spoil for today.?

He hurried up to sit besides me and had the syrup on his hand before he actually _sat _on the stool. I had to take it away, I looked at his plate and he had more syrup than pancake on it.

"Te la pasaste bien ayer ?" I asked him, I had been teaching him Spanish lately, it was very funny, his accent and the face he puts when a word is to difficult to pronounce are priceless.

"Si,we jugamos a lot" and that is also very funny, when he is too excited he mix up the two languages. "and we ate pizza, and played soccer a lot with Tommy's dad, he said I'm really good mami, he said I should join his team, cause you know he has a team and Tommy is on it , and they said its a lot of fun, can I mami ? Can I join ?" he looked at me with his mouth full of pancakes waiting for an answer" I tried not to laugh at his excitement.

"What about teakawando and your guitar lessons ?" since that day when I bought him that guitar Puck has been teaching him, he plays almost everyday and he has become really good too, it is actually really funny to watch them both jump around on the backyard singing some Rock and Roll song .

When he came into my life things had change so quickly, too quickly for me to actually think about what was going on. One day we sat at the leaving room, watching Kung Fun Panda, I looked around and that was the moment when I realized how much had actually changed. We had just moved the day before, they were a lot boxes laying around waiting to be unpacked, and pizza boxes on the ground, but it was a really nice house, big enough for both of us, with a pretty backyard and in a really nice neighborhood.

Nothing to do with my old cheap appartement. I had started my new job a few weeks earlier and Kevin seemed to like his school, I was laying on the couch where we had sleep that night and looked at him, he was jumping in front of the TV mimicking Po's kung fu moves, I started laughing at that moment, I felt so light , without a care , I felt simply and honesty happy, I couldn't remember the last time I had felt that way. And right at that moment I realized how much I had missed and even when everything was so new to me and different from the life I was so used to, I realized how much I loved it, I wouldn't have changed one single thing even if I could.

"What about them?" Kevin's voice stopped my train of thoughts.

"Wouldn't that be too much? You have teakawando on Fridays and you have guitar lessons with Puck on the weekends,besides school "

He shrugged "I could play guitar any other day and go to soccer Saturday" he stated simply.

I chuckled amused, he always had good arguments "Fine, I'll call Tommy's dad and we'll see"

Soon after breakfast we were ready to start the new day. When I opened up the door Beth was standing there with a very confused look on her face, like she was contemplating if she should star running or say something. Before she actually had the chance to decide Kevin jumped and hugged her.

"Betty !"

She looked down at him "look at you, all grow up and all" she rubbed his hear and Kevin giggled at her words.

"I'm a big boy now" he said proudly, like they hadn't see each other in ages , when its has only been a few days.

"I can tell" she agreed nodding.

I closed the door and we walked to the car, Kevin quickly stepped in the backseat, I was about to get it when I saw the look in Beth's face, she was looking around, unsure of what to do, I frowned, something was going on , and I had an idea of what it was.

"C'mom I'm dropping you at school" I smiled at her and she nodded.

I looked at the rearview and saw Kevin playing with his nintendo, what means that he wasn't paying attention to us "How long have you been standing there Beth ?" the girl looked at me for a second and then turned her attention to the road in front of us.

"A few minutes" her voice sounded small.

"Why didn't you come in ?"

"I-I wasn't sure if should knock or just leave" I sighed and shocked my head , but didn't say anything, we were already in front of Kevin's school. I parked and looked at him.

"You want me to come in with you"

"You don't have to" he kissed my cheek and took his backpack. "bye mami, bye Beth" and with that he jumped out of the car.

"Have a nice day and behave" I yelled after him, he waved and ran to his friends, who were standing a few feets away.

I turned to look at Beth and she shifted uncomfortably on her sit.

"Beth" I waited till she was looking at me "I'm not mad at you"

"But..." she tried to protested.

"This whole thing has nothing to do with you" I said more sternly "It's between your parents and me, it has nothing to do with you, you understand ?" when the seconds passed by and she didn't answered I tried again. "Beth look at me" I said lifting up her chin,I smiled at her "do you understand?" finally she smiled back and nodded.

"Good" I laughed "now come here" I opened up my arms for her and she didn't wasted a second to hug me.

I drove us out of the parking spot and soon we were driving to Beth's High School in a comfortable silence, with the music playing softly.

"They were fighting after you left" she broke the silence.I looked at her for a second and then back at the road. What was I supposed to tell her? "what happened aunty ?"

"How about I come pick you up after school ? We can have some pizza and watch a movie"

"Sure" The rest of the ride was made in small talks about everything and nothing.

Back at work every minute went painful slow, too slow. Like we you know you should be somewhere else but you stuck. I needed to start making things right. I drove to Quinn's office, outside of it Kitty greeted me with a big smile.

"Morning Miss Lopez"

"Morning" I looked at the closed door "is the Queen bitch in there?"

The girl laughed softly at my words and shocked her head yes "but she is busy"

"She always is" I walked to the door and knocked, after a few seconds I opened it up, walked in and closed it after me. Quinn looked from her laptop screen to me and crossed her arms above her chest.

"What do you want?" she didn't wait for an answer "if you are here to ye-"

"I brought lunch" I hold the plastic bag I was holding high in the air in front of us to make my point. "as peace offering ? I bet you didn't eat breakfast"

"You're buying me with food ?" her voice was low and her expression incredulous.

"Is it working?" I asked hopefully.

"Maybe what did you get?"

"Chinese"

She kept her eyes narrows at me, I smirked and moved the bag slowly from one side to the other tentatively, she rolled her eyes and for a second I thought she was going to kick me out, but then she smiled.

"Fine, its working"

We walked to the couch against the wall at the other end of her office and started eating.

"I'm sorry" she didn't stop chewing and nodded for me to continue "you are right, is all my fault"

She placed her food down on the little table "It is" she agreed_ well thank you very much._"But I'm sorry too, I need you to understand something San, it wasn't my place to tell you, she is my friend too,I couldn't do that to her, and lets be honest here its not like you did anything else but hurt her"

I looked down in shame, she was right, I deserved it. "What happened Quinn? How did you know ?" I asked desperate, I needed some answers.

_Flashback _

_It was Beth's birthday party, the girl was in the backyard with her friends chatting and having a good time. Quinn was at the barbecue making sure the whole thing didn't burned down while Puck went to the bathroom. There was a knock on the front door , that no one would have heard if Puck hadn't be in the house. When he open the door, his eyes landed on a tall blonde with blue eyes, he knew her for somewhere, but didn't knew exactly from where, he owes a club he sees girls like that daily, after a while they all kind of look the same. _

_The woman smiled "hi" _

_Puck's eyes landed on the little girl holding the woman's hand, he looked at her, frowning, speechless. The longer he stared the awkwarder it got. The little girls was looking at the woman squeezing her hand, and the blonde woman was shifting uncomfortable._

_"Yo-you must be Noah, Quinn's husband right ?" She asked trying to star a conversation, in hopes to get out of the awkward situation, he moved his gaze to the blonde. But didn't answered her question._

_"QUINN!" he yelled still looking at his guest "QUINN COME HERE!" not long after Quinn was walking in._

_"Britt" she smiled brightly at her old friend "God , is so good to see you, it has been way too long" they two blonde hugged each other. When Quinn turned to look at her husband, ready to introduce him to Brittany, she saw the look on his face and followed his gaze, till she was just like him, staring at the little girl, with her mouth open. Was she seeing things ? She rubbed her eyes a few times just to make sure she wasn't._

_"I already tried that one" Puck murmured. _

_The girl looked at her mother and said dryly "mom I think your friends are stupid" In any other occasion the blonde would have quarrel her, but she was too busy freaking out, this was the reason why she didn't want to meet her old friend. But Sam was right , she couldn't let what happened so many years ago control her life , and she did miss her friend , she hadn't see her in years._

_"Amh Qu-Quinn?" _

_That seemed to work and the shorter blonde shocked her head furiously a few times to clear her head._

_"I-I'm sorry Britt please come in" she pushed Puck aside to let them step in. Once inside Quinn looked at the little girl again , this time she did the best she could to smile "And you must be Gabrielle ? I've hear a lot about you" she said sweetly. _

_The girl in question rolled her eyes and scoffed loudly. Her mother glared at her warningly "What?" after a few second of staring she rolled her eyes again "Fine" _

_She turned to look at the other blonde in front of her "It's nice to meet you too" she said with a bored expression, she looked at her mother waiting for her approval._

_"You may wanna try that again or you will be in big trouble missy" _

_The girl looked at the ground for a second. "Sorry mom" she turned to Quinn "It's nice to meet you to Quinn, call me Gaby" she maneged a weak smile and her mother nodded her approval._

_"The party is in the backyard, I'll get you guys something to drink" _

_Quinn and Puck started walking to said direction, followed by there guests. Puck leaned in to whisper in Quinn ear "You do see what I'm seeing right?" he did his best to be discrete and failed miserably. Quinn poked him with her elbow and smiled apologetic at her friend._

_For the rest of the evening Quinn tried to talk alone with her friend but Gabrielle didn't left her side for a second. So when she saw an opportunity she didn't hesitated a second to take it. The little girl was running around, being chased by...Kevin. Quinn smiled briefly at the scene and sat down next to Brittany._

_"Why didn't you tell me ?" _

_Brittany looked up from her phone and answered nonchalantly "Tell you what Quinnie?" she tried to smiled her nervousness away._

_"You have never been a good liar Britt" _

_"I don't know what you mean" _

_Quinn smiled sweetly at her friend but didn't said anything, they turned to look at Gaby and Kevin that were sitting on the ground sharing a piece of cake._

_"They seems to like each other" Brittany was glad for the change in the subject._

_"They do" she smiled "It's weird though, she doesn't make friends so soon usually" _

_"Maybe its because that's her brother" Quinn looked at her friend to see her reaction, the blonde's smiled turned quickly into a frown, and soon realization. She looked at the kids for a second and then back to Quinn, she opened up her mouth to speak but nothing came out._

_"You have to tell her" after such a long time without seeing each other , Quinn wasn't planing her encounter to be anything like all this mess._

_Brittany stood up so fast that the stool she was sitting on felt backwards. _

_"Gaby" she called her daughter "we're leaving" _

_"But .." she was ready to protest, she was having fun and she didn't want to leave so soon, first she was dragged to a party that she didn't want to go to and then she was forced to leave when she was having fun , it was unfair in her eyes._

_"Gabrielle!" at hearing the tone on her mother's voice the girl quickly stood up and took her mother's hands looking at the ground. _

_She waved at her new friend "Bye Kevin" _

_"Britt wait-" _

_Before the blonde had the chance to say anything else, her friend was storming out of her house, with Gabrielle running doing her best to keep her mother pace. Quinn quickly follow her outside._

_"Brittany wait pl-" _

_"NO!" the woman yelled turning to look at her college friend._

_"Mo-mom?" her mother didn't got mad that usually and she could clearly see that she was mad, very mad, and she didn't know why._

_"Get in the car" _

_"But mo-" _

_" .Car now !" Gaby letted go of her mother's hand and as quickly as she could,she did what she was told._

_"Br-" _

_"Save it Quinn" Quinn saw the anger in her usually calm friend and was stunned in place "I don't wanna hear it" She closed her eyes for a few seconds and when she opened it up again all that was left there was sadness,and the tears that were already falling down her checks. "You were right Quinn" she said with a broken voice "I should had stay away" she looked at her daughter sitting at the backseat of her car and a small broke upon her face. "You can't tell her" she said firmly._

_"Britt , you can't ask me that, she has the right to kn-"_

_"Right?" Brittany laughed sadly."After what she did to me ?" _

_"Does she know? Did you ever told her ?" _

_"No...Yes..I-I don't know" she sighed "I tried Q, I tried to tell her, but she didn't care and she doesn't care now" _

_Quinn was about to protest, but her friends held up her hand asking her to let her finish._

_"Even if she does care, I don't!" tears were still rolling down her checks from her red eyes. _

_"We didn't came back here for that, she had her chance to be part of our lives but she choose not to, you have to understand Quinn, please, I need you to understand, she hurt me, so, so badly, I can't face her , I don't wanna see her" by the end of her little speech she was shaking, and Quinn quickly hugged her friend trying to comfort her. _

_"She used me Quinn" her friend whispered in her ear,between sobs._

_"I needed her, I needed her so bad, I was so alone Quinn, and I was so scared" she pulled back._

_"She left me alone Quinn" she repeated "I was so scared , I-I didn't know what to do, I had no clue what to do" they stayed quiet for a few minutes, all that was heard was the music coming from the house and the cars passing by. _

_Brittany used that time to calm herself down, she shouldn't be crying like that, Santana wasn't worth it, is was she told herself over and over again over the course of time, she isn't worth it, she repeated again in her head and slowly her tears stoped. She used the back of her hand to clean her checks, and looked from the ground to Quinn._

_"But I did it" she said proudly "I did it on my own,I have raised my daughter without her help, I don't need her, not anymore, neither of us does, I know she is your friend Quinn, but I'm too and I'm begging you please, please stay out of this" she begged, she seemed so broken,so fragile , and it broke Quinn's heart, it broke her heart to see her friend in such pain , crying like a lost little child._

_She still remembers being in her place, what would she has done if Puck hadn't been by her side, yes, they had broke up , and yes, Puck still was a man whore back then, but he was there when she needed him, he worked to help her and was there every step of the way, and years later, he was the reason she got a chance to go to college, he gave her the chance to make something of her life. She couldn't completely understand the pain her friend must had gone through, the fear, being all alone, what could she do ? It wasn't her place after all, the minimus she could do was respect her friends wish._

_"Why didn't you tell me B, why did you ran away ? I could have help you , you know that" _

_"I was scared Quinn, I didn't know what to do, I needed to figure things out by myself, so I ran as far away as I could, I'm so sorry I didn't told , I'm truly are Quinn, We only knew each other for a few months, I couldn't ask you for help, I couldn't tell you, after you warned me , I was so ashamed, I felt so stupid."_

_Quinn ran her hand up and down the other woman hand trying to comfort her._

_"I'll stay out of it" she promised _

_Brittany smiled and hugged her tightly. _

_"Thank you Quinn, thank you" she gave her a last hug and kiss, and stepped in her car, after promises to catch up soon were made._

_The only thing left was the most difficult one, talk to Noah, Quinn thought and stepped inside the house._

_End flashback _

_".._and after that day we see each other often , but Puck doesn't know that, I told him she was just passing by and that she wasn't planing to stay"Quinn finished her story.

"Well, it wasn't exactly a lie" She corrected herself "She _did_ just stayed that weekend , she had found a job she really liked, so she was here for the interview and she came by for Beth's birthday, she was leaving just outside LA with her parents, she moved here when the holydays started and school was over" She explained "And I might have recommend some schools to her" she winked.

I nodded as response. And we stayed just like that, quiet, for a long time, neither of us said anything else, I needed to think, and Quinn let me.

"What's my daughter like Q? " I couldn't keep the smile away _my daughter, I have a daughter._

_"_She is.." she stoped to search for the right words "just like you San" she said with a smile "just like you"

Both of us burst out laughing, I didn't knew exactly what she ment, but I couldn't wait to find out.

"What was it she does for the leaving?"

"She is a dancer" She answered.

"Well, that explain a few things" I murmured more to myself than to Quinn but she heard me anyway and chuckled softly.

"I need to talk to her Q"

"San I can't t-"

"I know, I know" I smiled "I wouldn't ask you to tell me either, but could you at least tell me her last name ?"

She smiled well aware of what was in my mind.

"Brittany Susan Pierce"

"Thank you Q"

When I looked at my phone and saw that my break was long over I stood up.

"I'm sorry Quinn, I'm sorry for everything" I said and hugged her tightly, she hugged me back immediately.

"Just..don't make things worse, okay ?"

"I won't, I promise"

"I'll hold you to that Lopez or I would be the one who'll kick your ass back in time"

**To be continued ...**


End file.
